Customers Suck

Schadenfreude! A big German word for the twisted glee we get in the pain of others. Not something that's polite to discuss in public, but everyone feels it, and everyone loves a little gossip now and then. These days, there are forums specifically for this type of gossip, where you can read stories about how much life sucks for strangers you've never met, and feel glad that you're not as bad off as all that.

Customers Suck is a website where members can post stories about the stupid, annoying, or downright hostile customers they've had to put up with, for the amusement of the other members. Some of the stories are bland or minor, but some quickly reach levels of incredulity. And yet, odds are that many of them are true. After all, anyone who's ever held a retail job has at least one of these stories to tell. Some customers just seem to be completely insane.

Here is one of my stories. A woman boarded her dog at our kennel. But when she returned to pick it up, she had issue with the bill. She argued with the manager. Finally she declared "Here's what I think of that!" and stalked out of the lobby, ran to her car, and peeled out of the parking lot. The staff soon realized three things.

1. She'd left behind her wallet.
2. She'd left behind her dog.
3. She'd left behind her daughter.

They tried to call the number on file, but couldn't reach her. They waited for her to return, but she didn't. At a loss for options, they put the dog back into boarding, charged the credit card for the original bill (seeing as they had her signature authorizing it), and put the little girl in the breakroom where she could watch Disney movies and eat an employee's lunch. At closing, with still no sign of the woman, they called the police to come pick up the girl and wallet.

The next day, the woman called up, enraged that we had "arrested" her daughter. She screamed obscenities and then hung up. She never returned for her dog; it was eventually adopted by a vet.

For many more such stories, hit up the website's forum. It also includes subforums for complaining about bad employees, coworkers, and managers. The War Stories section alone is worth a look for the sheer jaw-dropping madness.