Customers Suck

Schadenfreude! A big German word for the twisted glee we get in the pain of others. Not something that's polite to discuss in public, but everyone feels it, and everyone loves a little gossip now and then. These days, there are forums specifically for this type of gossip, where you can read stories about how much life sucks for strangers you've never met, and feel glad that you're not as bad off as all that.

Customers Suck is a website where members can post stories about the stupid, annoying, or downright hostile customers they've had to put up with, for the amusement of the other members. Some of the stories are bland or minor, but some quickly reach levels of incredulity. And yet, odds are that many of them are true. After all, anyone who's ever held a retail job has at least one of these stories to tell. Some customers just seem to be completely insane.

Here is one of my stories. A woman boarded her dog at our kennel. But when she returned to pick it up, she had issue with the bill. She argued with the manager. Finally she declared "Here's what I think of that!" and stalked out of the lobby, ran to her car, and peeled out of the parking lot. The staff soon realized three things.

1. She'd left behind her wallet.
2. She'd left behind her dog.
3. She'd left behind her daughter.

They tried to call the number on file, but couldn't reach her. They waited for her to return, but she didn't. At a loss for options, they put the dog back into boarding, charged the credit card for the original bill (seeing as they had her signature authorizing it), and put the little girl in the breakroom where she could watch Disney movies and eat an employee's lunch. At closing, with still no sign of the woman, they called the police to come pick up the girl and wallet.

The next day, the woman called up, enraged that we had "arrested" her daughter. She screamed obscenities and then hung up. She never returned for her dog; it was eventually adopted by a vet.

For many more such stories, hit up the website's forum. It also includes subforums for complaining about bad employees, coworkers, and managers. The War Stories section alone is worth a look for the sheer jaw-dropping madness.

Larp

Larp stands for Live Action RolePlay. You remember when you were a kid, playing cowboys or superheroes, and maybe you stole your mother’s red sweater and wrapped the arms around your neck so you could have a cape? Larp is that for grownups. Like gourmet mac and cheese, it takes the childish premise and makes it something much more interesting. And too expensive for a child’s pocket money.

The most common Larp is the quasi-medeival, sometimes fantasy setting, such as the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronisms) and, here in the southeast, SOLAR. It’s basically Dungeons and Dragons, only you run around the woods in full costume and makeup, and beat other people with padded sticks. Other common themes are vampires and, lately, steampunk or cyberpunk.

Is it hokey? Yeah, a little. Is it fun? Heck yeah.

Okay, so obligatory storytime. A friend and I were at Solar, sitting on the steps of the Garrison with other friends. Like many buildings at Solar, the Garrison had a “Ward”, or forcefield of magic X-mas lights that kept monsters out. Yay! We can sleep safely without being murdered in our beds! But no, on this evening, as we were sitting there chatting, we see a monster coming up the path (we knew it was a monster because he was wearing the tabard “poncho” that all monsters wear), with his arms crossed above his head. This means he is “rifting”, ie in another dimension or something. Essentially, we have to pretend we can’t see him.

And as we try not to watch, he steps right through the Ward and up onto the porch with us.

Now, any monster who can step right through a Ward is 1. very powerful, and 2. scary as hell. But we still can’t “see” this guy. And he’s standing right next to us! After a moment of terrified silence, we desperately try to restart the conversation. Ever talked about the weather while death is looming over your shoulder? Not easy.

Finally he came out of rift, and the Chief of the Garrison shouted “Ward Down!” and we bolted from the porch in every direction. I made it safely to the Armorsmith’s Guild. Some were not so lucky. But that wait on the porch for the bloodbath to start? Longest minute of my life.

Larp can be about practically anything. Got some friends, some clothing that could almost be a costume if you looked at it sideways, and a place to run around? You can start a Larp group! Many people pick their favorite fandoms or genres and play the characters from those. I was a member of a Final Fantasy VIII group (I played Irvine Kinneas), and we had many merry times, roaming the backwoods of northern Georgia, fighting off invisible baddies.

Odds are there's a Larp going on in your area, if you look hard enough. Some are pretty freestyle, others have strict requirements and hefty participation fees (Solar requires full costume, plus makeup for non-humans, and $45 per event, not counting boarding). Come try it out sometime; running for your life from ogres is a great way to meet new people!

Oh God, They're Coming Through the Walls!

A couple years ago I purchased my first house. I promptly discovered the “joys” of homeowning as the house insisted on throwing every problem it could at me right from the start. The basement flooded three times from the septic tank backing up. The dishwasher broke, the air conditioning broke, the mailbox fell down. Every possible kind of pest moved in. And the elastic snapped on the fuzzy dice (geek reference!).

Don’t get me wrong, I love my house. And I feel stronger for the lessons it taught me the hard way. After crying the first few times things went horribly wrong, I learned what to do about them. And it inspired my love of homemaking (and my churning hatred of woodpeckers).

I want to talk about pests in particular, so I’ve titled this post as a reference to the time when ants were actually pouring in through my electrical outlet. Yikes. But enough about the ants. Today I want to concentrate on my arch-enemies : squirrels.

I frickin’ hate squirrels.

My house is wood sided. Every fall the woodpeckers (Rraugh! Woodpeckers!!!) drill holes into the walls, and the squirrels widen them and move in. At first I thought this was just something homeowners lived with; afterall, in my childhood home we occasionally had squirrels in the attic, and they were noisy, but otherwise innocuous.

But then they burrowed into my spare bedroom. They chewed. Through The wall. Right into the bedroom. It was freaky as hell.

The upside is, I am now fully equipped to deal with them. The first time, I tearfully called an exterminator, but watching him work made me realize I could do it myself, rather than shell out several hundred every fall. So I purchased a $100 “funnel trap” cage from a company that supplies the professionals. This one way cage is designed to be secured to the wall, directly over the hole the little bastards have made. You put it in place at night while they’re inside, and they have no choice but to walk into the trap. Once the hole is empty, you can seal it up by stuffing in metal wool (or insulation, or both), and nailing a metal sheet over the hole (I duct tape it in place first, then nail) and painting it to match the house (ugly, but it gets the job done). Then you dispose of the vermin to your method of preference.

I’ll tell you my method, but those of you who are sensitive might want to stop reading now.

Okay, let’s face it, squirrels try very hard to return to their nests or the nests they were born in. Simply evicting them and dropping them off on the side of the road doesn’t always work (I speak from experience). So if you’re not squeamish or treasuring every life, your best bet is to do away with the buggers.

Being a little squeamish myself, the method I’ve chosen may seem horrific, but it’s the fastest, safest, and cleanest way I’ve found.

I drown them.

Yeah, okay, you can shun me now. But it works. I fill the bathtub all the way, then drop in the occupied trap. Takes all of ten seconds for them to stop moving. I wait a few minutes to be sure, then I simply open the trap and dump the body into a trash bag.

Alternatively, you can eat them. I went through a “wild child” stage in my youth (I’ll probably blog that someday), inspired by books like “My Side of the Mountain”. Squirrel is mostly dark meat, and tastes a bit like duck, in my opinion. You get a fat one, plumped up in preparation for winter, and it’s not bad eating at all.

Comics

There was a brief window before I got too geeky to be dealt with, where my parents actually encouraged geeky behavior in me, thinking it was a sign that I was smart and therefore a winner. I was bribed to do my homework with Magic cards and Dungeons and Dragons books. And on my 10th birthday, I was given a large box my mother had bought for $10 at a yard sale. Inside.... comics.

One in particular stuck in my memory. X-men #1 (not as rare as it sounds). And halfway through the issue, a charming, sneaky, clever thief popped up, and I was hooked.

Gambit. I wanted to be him. Other people’s women swooned over him.

Time passed and the box and its contents were lost to Goodwill, but once I reached adulthood, I found a few comics at another yard sale. And there he was again. Gambit. Master of the cards, never giving a straight answer. Too arrogant for his own good. My collecting days began.

I like to think I own the largest Gambit-centric collection in a tri-state area. And yet it’s nowhere near completion.

But collecting hasn’t been a simple task. There were no comic stores anywhere near me, so I rummaged through flea markets for the few issues I could gather. Collecting out of order is very much like putting a jigsaw puzzle together with most of the pieces missing. “Okay, they’re on a boat in this one... why are they on a boat... and who is that, and why does she have green hair?”

Even after I discovered Oxford Books down in Atlanta (former home of the magnificent Jennie Breeden of the Devil’s Panties webcomic), I still didn’t know what issues to buy. Marvel is tricky with their continuities. X-men and X-men Uncanny are main universe, and so was X-treme X-men though it was a sideplot, but Astonishing X-men and Ultimate X-men are alternate universes and X-men Unlimited is not a series at all but a collection of character studies. And don’t even get me started on the more bizarre alternate universes like Mutant X and Gambit and the Externals. There’s like a million of them.

And while I’m on the subject, X-men is frickin’ complicated. There’s hundreds of characters fighting for screentime, and all of them have backgrounds and families and enemies and sometimes their own spinoff series. Half the time I don’t even recognize who they’re fighting. Though it helps that they name everyone as soon as they appear (they kinda have to!). Everytime a new group shows up it’s like the Mickey Mouse club rollcall.

Course, if you’re like me and you like puzzles and complication, this sounds like a good thing. In that case you’re a born comic collector. Come join us!

The benefits of comic collecting:

- Fairly cheap hobby. An issue is rarely more than $3, and if you collect through yard sales, you can get them for $1 or less. Only very old comics are worth lots of money (the rarest in my collection I bought for $20).

- They don’t take up much space. 60 comics is a stack about 6 inches high (my roommate measured them recently, don’t ask why).

- They’re purdy. I used to read manga, but black and white just doesn’t do it for me anymore.

- If you get into a complicated, long running series like X-men, you will NEVER be finished collecting. I’m always woefully behind on the current stuff. I turn around for one second, and what, Gambit’s Death now? Oh wait, he’s not anymore. But he’s working for who?! Why is he working for him! He hates that guy! Grahh!

For those who don’t care a lick about Gambit, here’s part of my non-Marvel collection. I like finding comics based on tv shows I used to watch. Can you recognize any of them?

Dumpster Diving

Couponing via the recycling bin got me thinking about actual dumpster diving. The more I researched, the more I found myself wanting to try it. Just look at all the stuff this guy found. There are even organizations that dive for a cause. Food Not Bombs, for instance, scavages food to serve vegan meals to the homeless (their website tries to avoid mentioning where they get the food from, though). Intrigued, I studied up from how-to guides (I recommend the one at All Things Frugal) and set up a game plan.

Step 1 : Case the neighborhood. I drove around the local stores at 9am and wrote down where I saw dumpsters, what kind they were, etc.

Step 2 : Gather tools. I packed a pair of leather gloves, a tarp and empty boxes, my grabber pole (available at Home Depot), a flashlight, and my camera. I forgot my stepladder at the last minute; I’ll take it next time.

Step 3 : Dive! I headed out the door at 2am. I concentrated on the smaller, more secluded stores, like the bookstore and rug outlet. My reasons were : they’re better hidden, they’re more likely to be empty late at night, and less rotten food. That last one was a good idea; the few times I mistakenly checked a restaurant dumpster, the smell was far, far worse. I stayed out until 4am, when the garbage trucks started their rounds, forcing me home. I think I hit maybe 15 dumpsters.

My Method : I opened the bins and stood at the edge, peering in. If it was full enough, I would grab bags and shove them out of the way to see what lay underneath. If anything caught my eye, I tried to snag it with the grabber pole. I did NOT climb into the dumpsters.

The Bad Parts

- Ants.

- I nearly got a spider in the face.

- Driving in the dark is not my strong suit. I ran over a wooden box at one point.

- I dropped my heavy flashlight on my foot, ow. I think I’m going to lose the big toenail; it’s already gone grey. That happened to me once as a kid. It’s icky, but it shouldn’t hurt any more.

The Worst Part

- Sifting through what I thought was the bin for an office building, I found a heavy metal box. Now this is interesting, what is this - OH CRAP IT’S A NEEDLE DISPOSAL BOX putitbackputitbackputitbackdriveawaydriveaway...

The Good Parts

- I actually did find stuff. On my first time! I got a backpack, two schoolbooks (Sociology and Literature), a fancy makeup case, and a plate. All in pristine condition. I’ll probably donate them to Goodwill.

- There was other stuff I didn’t bother to take, too : a bunch of letters for store signs (I would’ve taken J but there wasn’t one), a bag of children’s toys, a flame-patterned do-rag, a couple belts too small for me, a candle holder, Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and a folding chair that was too ratty to use (which is a shame, because I really need a folding chair). And I bet I would’ve found tons more if I’d hit any retail stores, where they’re more likely to toss sealed boxes.

- I didn’t see a single person, until I heard the garbage trucks revving up.

- The smell wasn’t really as bad as I’d expected. Yeah, it smelled, but not ‘oh my god’ smell. Just mild. Except in the restaurant bins. And once I got used to the sight of trash bags, it wasn’t as creepy digging through them as I thought it’d be.

- I didn’t come away smelling like garbage. I smelled like hand lotion, because I accidentally broke a bottle as I was trying to lift it.

In Review : I will probably do it again sometime. I want to try driving down to the closest town that has big box stores. And I want to steel up my nerve to hit the grocery stores, as they probably throw out just-expired food everyday. As for the heavy flashlight, it’s never coming along again. I’ll figure something else out.

Equipment I’d recommend that I didn’t use : sanitizing wipes, headband flashlight, maybe a towel to throw over the edge of bins so you’re not brushing your clothes against it. Oh, and peppermints. Sucking on them would probably counteract the smell, if you’re finicky about it.

All this from one dumpster! This dumpster dive has been brought to you by the letter A.

40th Atlanta Pride Festival

Today I went to the gay pride festival with my roommate Cheri-chan (who walked with the Atlanta Lolita chapter), and tried out my interviewing chops on some of the participants. Events like this are terrific, because I get introduced to dozens of organizations all at once, and they're only too happy to offer up information about themselves.

The Oakhurst Baptist Church group of Decater boasted that they'd been kicked out of the GA Baptist convention for refusing to get rid of their gay Assistant Pastor. "And we're proud of that," they added. "God loves and welcomes us all." They were only one of several religious groups to show their support. In fact, there were seemed to be more religious groups supporting the parade than there were religious groups protesting.

Angel Action developed to protest messages of hate against gays, such as those who choose to protest at funerals. Wearing large cloth wings, the Angels stood blocking the sight of the anti-gay protesters at the trial for the murder of Mathew Shephard, victim of hate crime. "This parade is very much about celebration, but we want to send a message of solemnity." True to form, when they encountered hate groups along the parade route, they took up position and blocked them from view with their massive wings.

On a lighter note, I met the charming Sister Monica Muffdiver, or "Muffie", of the dramatically decorative Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Their float was very sparkly.

And of course the Lolis were out in force. Most of them chose deco-loli (an excessively sugary style) to show their support, although Cheri-chan of course went her own direction. They took great pleasure in flashing their petticoats at the protesters. I'll post more about the Lolita group int the area some other time, after I attend one of their meetups.

Some of the participants I haven't provided pictures of included : faeries with huge butterfly wings, Delta's "plane cars", a guy riding a fake donkey while riding a segway, a Lady Gaga impersonator, a Charlie Brown float, the Dikes on Bikes, and a gardening club with little toy mowers.

I think what I found most surprising was the sheer number of companies that were not only willing to openly support the cause, but even brought their own floats. Not just small businesses either; Delta, Chipotle, and Macy's made appearances. You would never have seen that 10 years ago. Relish Hair Salon, however (their float shown above), is openly gay owned. They claim that, if anything, this has actually increased their profits, rather than being a detriment.

While watching the parade, I stood next to a woman whose little boy was gleefully scooping up the candy being tossed to the crowds. But she had to snatch one particularly flat and round packet away from him. "It's not candy," she explained. Then she had to make up a "wearing a helmet to ride a bike" analogy to answer his further questions.

Couponing and the Recycling Bin

To get this blog kicked off, let's start in on my current interest : Couponing.

It started with me googling "budget blog" and rediscovering the Hot Coupon World forum. I've been there before, back when I was investigating couponing. At that time, I had passed up on making couponing a habit, because paying for a $2 Sunday paper that may or may not have coupons I want seemed a bit of a waste.

It's a fascinating forum, though. Many people make a lifestyle out of couponing. They stockpile huge hoards of goods, which they can often buy at next to nothing, or even free. They trade coupons among themselves through the mail. They boast about their best finds, and offer advice to each other on how to deal with problems (like a cashier refusing to honor the coupon).

And this time as I read the forum, I found the Dumpster Diving for Coupons thread. It explained in detail how to check recycling centers for discarded newspapers in order to get free inserts (the part of the paper with coupons in it). It even included a list of tools needed.

Well, I am helpless to resist a how-to guide. I bought me a grabber pole from Home Depot, loaded an empty box, flashlight, and scissors into the car, checked the web for recycling centers in the area, and headed off to investigate.The first place was gated and guarded. I was too nervous to try there. The second place I couldn't even find. The third place had no gate, but a guy was working there, compacting the boxes. I returned at around 7pm, and he was gone. The place was deserted.

I was expecting nasty smells, mess, and someone shouting "Hey you, stop that!" None of that happened. The newspaper bin smelled like newspaper. My handy grabber pole did all the work, shifting and sorting and digging. I didn't have to handle anything unsavory or stick my hands into unknown crevices. I found a small stack of inserts (if you're unfamiliar with them, the three main types are P&G, SmartSource, and RedPlum. They're the slicky pages that are slightly thinner than the slicky ads).

The real finds, however, were magazines and coke cartons. I'm a magazine addict, but hate the idea of paying for them, since I'll probably only read them once. No more! I now own a dozen horse magazines (I didn't even know they made that many) and two years' worth of Prevention magazine (out of which I clipped the recipes). And I collect coke rewards, since I'm a diet soda addict as well. The 24-can boxes are worth 20 points. I got two of them for free. Booya!

This is definitely something I want to take up on a regular basis. But doing this has led me to take interest in another hobby as well : real dumpster diving. More on that another time.

My haul of coupons for this trip. Not too shabby!

What to Say?

I suppose my first post on a new blog should be an introduction. My name is Josine Bressas. I am a 26 year old geek living north of Atlanta, Georgia, sharing my home with two roommates and three cats. I am a nontraditional college student (having flunked out the first time), and for much of my adult life I weighed 280 lbs. I am currently at 207, and I work at it every day.

I am majoring in Sociology with a minor in History. My passion is subcultures and groups. Any group at all. The Roma, Geisha, Heaven's Gate, polygamists, deep sea divers, the homeless, and occupational unions. If they are deviant to the norm in behavior and philosophy, I want to know about them. Even if they are the norm, I still want to know about them. Being a geek, my personal experience tends to be with geek groups such as Lolita and Larpers.

The name of this blog comes from my strongest personality trait : I wander. I pick up and drop hobbies all the time. I explore new places out of sheer curiosity and boredom. I never latch onto anything for long, but because of this, I've experienced alot of interesting things over the years.

In this blog, you can expect me to be talking about the things that interest me. Different groups and cultures I'm studying at that moment, conventions and festivals, as well as hobbies, philosophy, and activities I'm also looking into. I'll also cover crafts with the help of my fabulous crafty roommate, Cheri-chan, and non-geek things that matter to me, like homemaking, college, weightloss, etc. I won't be going into too much depth on anything, but it'll be a new topic every time.

My intent is to update this blog four times a week : Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday, with Sunday posts often being about conventions, events, and festivals I attend.

Obligatory cat pic! This is Reynolds, one of our cats. He's my little browncoat.